Sunday, July 12, 2009

'Say something in English!'

This morning, in between playing the organ for two services, I went to a café for breakfast. It was pretty busy (Sunday morning 'brunch' is a popular pastime here) and it was some time before I managed to attract the attention of a waitress to ask for a menu. Just after she went off to get it, another waitress asked me if I needed a menu. I said something like 'yes I do, but I think your colleague's just gone to get me one'. Her expression clearly indicated that she hadn't understood a word of what I'd said - partly the general hubbub of the place, partly my English accent. She looked at me with a mixture of confusion and pity, and said: 'What are you talkin'?' I really wish I'd had the presence of mind to give the obvious answer: 'English - same as you', but I just grinned apologetically and said 'Sorry - I'm from England'. I usually say 'England' rather than 'Britain', which just leads to more confusion.

I had a similar experience a month or so ago when I was in California. After about an hour's drive from San Diego airport, I arrived in the town I was staying in quite late in the evening, and, pretty hungry, stopped to eat at the first place I saw, which was a kind of fast food/diner place selling burgers, pizza and ice cream. I opted for a pizza. The lady serving behind the counter - who I think, like about 50% of the population in that part of the world, was of Mexican descent - asked me what kind of pizza base I wanted, and pointed to a chart on the wall showing the options. I decided on butter, and informed her accordingly. She didn't understand, so I repeated the word. And again. And again. Eventually I was reduced to pointing to the picture on the wall. 'Oh, budderrr!' she said. I suppose my 'proper' English pronunciation of 'butta' must have sounded as far removed from her conception of the word as could be imagined.

All this leads to a dilemma. Once you've been here a while, you know that the way you pronounce certain words sounds odd to the locals. I'm perfectly well aware that if I ask for tomatoes, or refer to my garage, or ask what route to take, I am likely to get a quizzical stare in response. At the very least, I feel self-conscious. But on the other hand, if I force myself to ask for tomaydoes, or refer to my garage, or ask what rout to take, I feel like a patronising fraud. Suggestions would be welcome.

Let me round off with a story which I fervently wish had happened to me, but was in fact told to me by another British person I know in Oklahoma. A friend of hers, visiting from the UK, went into a shop to buy something, and received the inevitable 'Oh, I lurrve your accent? Where are you from?!' 'England', she said. 'England? Oh wow! Hey, say something in English!'

2 comments:

Patchwork Dragon said...

I loved this post....I learned very quickly on my very first holiday to the US that even though the language is supposedly the same, the differences are enormous! Don't ever tell an American the time is quarter past something, you will get a totally blank stare!

But what always amused me was that when you tell someone you're from London, they would say "oh I have a friend in London...perhaps you know them!" and proceed to give you their name! Never was quite sure just how small they thought London was!

Andrew said...

Thank you! You're absolutely right, of course. And the fascinating thing is that, however much you might think you've worked them all out, you keep discovering new ones. I used the word 'fortnight' not long ago, without realising that Americans don't recognise the word. And I mentioned in a previous blog about using 'double' when reading out a number or spelling a word, which Americans don't do.

I've even had people say 'I know someone from the UK' and hope that I know them. But to be fair, I'm often guilty of doing a similar thing myself - and just occasionally you do, in spite of incredible odds, realise that you both know the same person - and then inevitably 'it's a small world...' etc.