Friday, September 26, 2008

Delivery

They finally arrived!! Here are some pictures of Gulliver helping us unpack...




Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dear Simon (2)

For those of you who may be interested, we still haven't received our goods from the UK. A new truck was apparently dispatched on Monday to rescue the stricken truck, and we were due to receive delivery this morning, but now the driver has been stopped by the police because of a problem with his driving license. He is currently stranded at a weigh station about 500 miles away. I have spent all of today on the phone and email to the company in New York and the company in the UK while they attempted to resolve the problem. Apparently they have sorted the problem with his license and paid an outstanding fine, but the police in New York now have to speak to the police in the state where the truck is to allow him to continue.

To be fair, both companies, particularly the one in the UK, do now seem to be treating the matter as urgent. The odd thing, though, is that the place where the driver says he is now is not on any direct route between the place where the original truck supposedly broke down, and here. The whole thing is very strange. Meanwhile, we last saw our stuff almost 14 weeks ago.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Churches (1)

There are approximately 3,000 churches in Oklahoma City. I have estimated this from the fact that there are 18 pages of them listed in the Yellow Pages, and on the random page which I selected, there were 168. They include every conceivable denomination, from African Methodist Episcopal (8) to Word of Faith (1). Some of the more colourful options on offer include the Emmanuel Temple of Praise and Deliverance, the Prophetic Armed Word Ministry, God’s Time Tabernacle of Joy and Peace, and Truck Stop Ministries.

This is a very religious place. Churches are everywhere: big, cavernous sheds of buildings, with enormous signs and ample parking. There is certainly no shortage of routes to divine revelation, should one be seeking it.

Of course there are churches which are more recognisable to me too: Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Lutheran. Even the good old C of E gets squeezed in, in the form of Episcopalian churches. I imagine that there is enough variety here to encompass forms of worship and theology with which I might personally feel more at home, although I have a feeling that the majority will specialise in the kind of saccharine, emotive, theatrical displays available on certain network TV channels.

What you do have to remember is that almost everyone you meet will be very religious, and that this will inform their whole outlook on life and the way in which they conduct themselves. Academics, lawyers, mechanics, taxi drivers, the guy who serves you your burger in McDonalds – all will probably be fervent worshippers of one kind or another. To some extent, this probably helps to explain the outgoing friendliness and good-naturedness of most people, and I’m still weighing up whether or not this means I should be more cynical and circumspect about it. Probably not, because I imagine its root is completely genuine. Perhaps miserable buggers like me could even learn something from it. I’m not sure it’s necessary for me to sign up to the New Hope Overcoming Church of the Living God in order to do so, though.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Shopping tips

Buying something in a shop in OKC will normally involve responding to the following, all delivered in a strong, confident, cheery tone of voice:

‘Hi, how are you today?’
‘Did you find everything you wanted?’
‘That’ll be three dollars fifty cents!’
‘You have a good evening now!’
‘Come back and see us again!’

Buying something in a shop in the UK will normally involve responding to the following, delivered in a monotone murmur:

‘Three fifty please mate.’

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Squirrel


There are lots of squirrels and rabbits here. Here's a picture of a baby squirrel we found on our front driveway. He seemed remarkably unconcerned about our presence. We wondered if he'd fallen out of his nest, or whatever they live in. When we went out to look later, he'd gone. We hope he wasn't carried away by something bigger than him!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Friendliness

People here are very friendly, and it's quite normal to strike up an involved conversation, detailing various aspects of your family and career history, with complete strangers. As a typically repressed Englishman who has spent hours studiously avoiding making eye contact with fellow passengers on the Tube, this is both alarming and refreshing.

The best illustration of this I've come across so far is probably the story told to us by Walter, the business manager at the dealership where we bought our car. He moved to OKC from Miami, so clearly this is something which surprises other Americans as much as foreigners like me.

He first visited OKC some years before he moved here, in order to attend his sister's wedding. One evening he and his friends were in a '7-11' convenience store, when a man who they didn't know walked by, and said loudly and cheerily, 'Hi, how ya doin'?' They turned to each other in some surprise, thinking, 'Who is this guy? Do we know him?' They didn't - it was simply a standard Oklahoma greeting.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Green card (1)

Yesterday I received my 'green card'! It's actually cream in colour (though there is some green writing on it). Well, somehow I didn't expect it actually to be green. It gives me the right to permanent residence in the US. Quite a milestone!

To celebrate, I've turned my blog green. If it makes you feel nauseous, let me know, and I'll change it back.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Vocabulary (1)

I've visited America and Canada many times before, and I'm married to someone who is one-third American, one-third Canadian and one-third British (at least in citizenship if not genealogical terms - in fact on reflection I suppose she would say she was fully all three, rather like the Holy Trinity) so I'm quite used by now to the concept of 'British English' and 'American English' being disarmingly different from each other. Despite this, there are still things which catch me out. I knew, of course, that what I would call a 'pavement' in the UK is called a 'sidewalk' here (where such things exist at all, which is rare). But what I didn't know until about a week ago was that 'pavement' refers here to the actual road which you drive on. So when my driving instructor told me to keep the car on the pavement, it was a little disconcerting.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Accents

Whenever people ask me where I'm from, my standard response is to ask them to guess. Popular choices are Australia, South Africa, and Scotland, in roughly that order. England comes some way behind, but a couple of people have guessed correctly. I have to say that reactions to the realisation that I'm not American, let alone an Okie, have been pretty much uniformly positive. The other day in Hobby Lobby, the checkout girl's face broke into a wide grin as soon as I spoke to her, and she said delightedly, 'Oh! You have an accent!!'

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Dear Simon (1)

[Names of people, places and companies have been changed in order to preserve anonymity. Though I was tempted not to.]

Dear Simon

Following my previous email to you, I finally got through to a member of the office staff at Americal Removals around lunchtime on Friday. She told me that Bob (the only person there who ever seems to know what is going on) was not in the office that day, but she would contact the truck driver and ask him to contact me with an update on his progress. (So obviously they had absolutely no idea where the truck was when I rang). About two hours later, the truck driver did indeed ring me to inform me that the truck had broken down in Kentucky, he would not be moving again until Monday at the earliest and that he would ring me again then.

Kentucky is approximately half way between New York and Oklahoma City. It takes about two days to drive, so why he was only in Kentucky by Friday is anyone's guess. Now, I know that trucks do break down, and we do not hold you directly responsible for that - although I'm sure you can understand that it does not exactly increase our confidence in the whole operation, or in this particular company. What we do feel is that, in this kind of situation, any logistics company worth its salt would arrange for another truck, one which has not broken down, to come and pick up the goods and continue the journey. Plainly this is not going to happen in this case, presumably because it would adversely affect the profit margin of all involved.

It is now over a month since our goods cleared customs in New York. By now, I could have hired a truck myself, driven it to New York, loaded up our goods and driven back to Oklahoma City several times over. It is not rocket science; you simply have to get the stuff from A to B. I am quite amazed at the catalogue of delays, disasters and misinformation which we have had to endure.

I know you will say that this is a different company, one which you have contracted to work for you in the US, and you cannot control what happens. Frankly, I don't think this is good enough. Our contract was with you, for the shipment of our goods from our home in the UK to Oklahoma City, and if you're not going to arrange directly for the entire shipment yourself, it is your responsibility to ensure that any other company involved is competent, efficient, has good customer service, and communicates regularly. This is palpably not the case.

Apparently, when your representative originally came round to talk to my wife and give her a quote, he assured her that we would be able easily to track the progress of our goods at all times. This has not proved to be the case. It has been extremely difficult to track the progess of our goods. None of the companies involved has been in regular contact with us; the onus has always been on us to phone daily to find out what is going on; frequently I cannot get through to people who can help and when I do they often don't know what is going on any more than I do. It is not my job to be contacting the truck driver on his mobile phone to find out where he is; I paid a removals company to do this for me.

At one earlier stage when my wife emailed you to ask for a progress update and to inform you of our new US contact details, you replied telling her not to bother you as you would contact us in due course. You never did so. Clearly, you do not know what is going on, as you had to email me last week to ask whether I had received the goods. It should be you telling me when I am going to receive the goods, not the other way around.

As far as we can work out, there is one truck coming from New York with one driver. How exactly are our goods going to be professionally unloaded and set up in our home – including the packaging being taken away - as we were originally promised? Are removal men going to be contracted? If so, has this been arranged? If not, am I expected to help the truck driver myself?

Moreover, our main concern now, even more than this or the delay, is for the condition of our goods. As you know, these include some very expensive and delicate musical instruments, together with a lot of important papers and books. When you were giving us your quote, my wife made it very clear that she was concerned that our goods would always be held in air-conditioned and/or temperature controlled conditions. It seems to me highly unlikely that this has been the case, although we cannot be sure, and neither I am sure are you, as you don't seem to be sure of anything. As far as I can tell, at this precise moment our goods are sitting on the back of a truck in a garage in Kentucky, and we have no idea about the temperature, conditions, or security - and again, neither I'm sure do you. All I can say is that if it turns out that any of our stuff has been damaged, as we fully expect may now be the case, we will be seeking full compensation through your insurance procedures - something which does not fill us with hope or confidence, as we can only assume it will be as difficult to communicate with you in that matter as it has been up to now.

Please understand that I am trying hard not to be difficult, unreasonable or emotional about this. My own job in the last few years was one in which I had to deal with many complaints from members of the public, so I know what it's like. I know things can go wrong: what I find unacceptable in this case is the total lack of communication; the lack of sufficient apology; and the lack of any sense of urgency or concern on your behalf or anyone else's. You do not seem to understand that moving continents is an incredibly stressful and difficult process, and that the shipment of someone's entire posessions over several thousand miles therefore needs to be handled with enormous sensitivity and care for customer service. The only people who seem to be at all concerned about all this are myself and my wife; no-one in any of the companies we've had to deal with seems remotely bothered. From this, I can only conclude that this sort of situation is quite normal and to be expected; in which case, the very least I can say is that this was not the impression we were given when you were touting for our business.

We will not be using your services again, and we will certainly do all we can to suggest that anyone else we know does not use your company. We are looking into our rights, as customers who paid in full and upfront for a level of service which we have not received, and fully intend to take this matter up with a higher authority such as Trading Standards or whatever body may be appropriate.

best wishes

Andrew

Friday, September 12, 2008

Concealed weapons


This sign is on the door of my local post office. Presumably unconcealed weapons are perfectly fine...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Fashion tips

Try as I might, I simply cannot deal with the concept of overweight 75 year old women in shorts.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Space

Oklahoma City is the 31st largest city in the US in terms of population, but it is the 7th largest in terms of land area (according to Wikipedia anyway). So the population density is very low, and it is even more 'spread out' than most American cities. Basically, there is a lot of space here, and this is reflected in the most trivial ways. For example, I've noticed that cars tend to leave a lot of space when waiting at intersections, typically a full car length between one car and the next. And people waiting in supermarket checkout queues leave a lot of space between themselves and the person in front. People leave a lot of space here because there is a lot of space available to leave.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Monday, September 8, 2008

Sunday trading

When I asked the salesman at the car dealership in Denison, Texas (who, incidentally and rather gratfiyingly, was called James Bond) whether they were open on Sundays, he replied with a rather pointed tone of voice: 'No, we go to church on Sundays'.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

House


This is a picture of our house. It is about twice the size of our old house in the UK, but cost about a third of the price!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Driving test

To take a driving test in Oklahoma, you have to arrive at the test centre at 6.30am, queue up (sorry, 'wait in line') for about 2 hours to be given a slot, then return later in the day to take your test. If you're too late to get a slot, you have to come back the next day. Why, in what is supposedly one of the most advanced countries in the world, can't you just phone (sorry, 'call') for an appointment?

Friday, September 5, 2008

Subway

Never order the buffalo chicken sub from Subway. It is disgusting.